six months...and counting.

buckle up - this here's gonna be a long one.

we're back to the lowercase letters.  it's easier to type this way and also, i'm not in college and i'm not writing a paper so whatever, i do what i want, :).

i don't even know where to begin.  it feels like sooo much has happened since i last posted.  some worth writing about, some not - i'll probably include some of both.

i recently tried to write a poem about why i'll never make a great poet.  the reason i couldn't write it is because my reasoning for why i'll never make a great poet is so true.  you see, when i write, i can't narrow things down.  i tend to beat things/ideas/concepts/trains of thought until they are completely dead.  i like to really nail down what i'm saying using parentheses, ellipses, back slashes,  brackets, hyphens - really, i'll use anything that lets me keep adding descriptive words.  poetry is about vague references and succinct phrases.  i'm all about run-on sentences.  the more the better.  

anyway - i'm saying all this because i was just in ethiopia and trying to explain it to all of you is gonna be a headache.  i'll try but it's gonna be cliche, long, inundated with adjectives, and probably confusing.  here goes...

ethiopia was a place of D.R.A.M.A.  everything seemed exaggerated there.  the gap between the poor and the rich was huge - much bigger and much easier to see than in the other countries i've been in.  the patients at the hospital were literally among the craziest cases i've seen here.  i felt more blessed there than i have in maybe my entire life and a stronger sense of injustice than anywhere else as well.  i'll explain...

first, there were the gokcen's, a family from yardley (right outside philadelphia!).  eric is the medical director at CURE ethiopia.  he and his wife, corinne, live in addis and serve - they are amazing.  they had me over to their place for dinner, t.v., and games practically every night.  i was unbelievably lucky to have been in their care and their generosity left me humbly overwhelmed.  great (home-cooked) food, the philadelphia eagles, and rook...i could have cried i was so happy.  they also have a son, curt, who is my age and it was so nice to have a youngin around while i was traveling.  it's usually just me and whoever works at the hospital.  i could go on and on - just know that the gokcen's are good people.  great people.  all the staff were fantastic at the ethiopia hospital.  so kind, so friendly, sooo helpful.  i feel like i got so much accomplished there (work-wise) and i'm really starting to feel 'in the groove' of what i'm doing.

then, there were the patients.  ethiopia had some incredible stories.  mohammed is a boy that has lived at the hospital since february.  he was badly burned in a fire when he was 8 months old and his leg healed with his right heel stuck to his right butt cheek.  so, he hasn't ever walked and he is 12 years old!  they operated on him and 'unstuck' (pardon my lack of medical terminology) his leg and he is now in therapy, learning how to walk for the first time.  this kid has a killer smile and would melt hearts all across the world if he traveled, :).  tarikwa was the little girl that i e-mailed everyone in my life about.  if you didn't get an email, sorry.  quick explanation: she lives in a REMOTE part of ethiopia and finally made it to the CURE hospital.  she had a benign tumor growing in her nasal cavity that would have suffocated her within the next three months.  it just so happened that less than a month after she got to the hospital, there were two amazing german surgeons scheduled to come to some operations.  they were this girl's only chance of survival and they removed the tumor and saved her life!  it was nothing short of a miracle!  in addition to these two gems, there were three different patients that literally had their faces bitten off by hyenas.  the plastic surgeon reconstructed what was left - incredible.  last one:  there were 10-15 patients there that were suffering from a disease called 'noma.'  wikipedia it if you want an explanation.  basically, a lot of these people were missing sections of their faces.  no nose, missing an eye, or missing a cheek.  shocking, humbling, and if you don't mind me saying, UNFAIR.

in all of these things, i found the richest fulfillment and the most heart-wrenching pangs of anger.  the fulfillment came from the satisfaction of knowing that lives were being changed dramatically and that i got to witness it.  i got to stand in on surgeries, play with some of the sweetest children in the world, and photograph every part of it.  the anger came from wondering why?  why these people?  honestly, i've been here six months and i've never felt emotions that strong.  part of it has been because i'm constantly counting down the days til i get to see my family and be home.  i forget to look back at what i've seen and where i've been.  the LORD has given me a protective kind of eye in all of this.  i've gone to the hospitals and thought, 'look at all the good being done.  look at all the people truly living out their vocations in life.'  and i felt that more than ever at the hospital.  but at least once a day, different thoughts would creep into my consciousness.  i would think - but why?  why is this necessary?  why do horrible things/accidents/tumors/diseases exist in the world so that hospitals like CURE are necessary?  it seems like a simple question.  it's one that we ask about any type of pain - why does it happen?  but i just don't know - i can't begin to answer it, i'm not even really looking for answers.  i just know that i asked it genuinely for the first time at the hospital.

so i left ethiopia on friday and my head was spinning - i cried a little on the plane.  for lots of reasons.  i really didn't feel ready to leave ethiopia, i got pretty attached to most of the patients there and a lot of the staff to be honest.  i wanted the plane to be flying to philadelphia, not kampala.  i was ready to see my family.  it's not like i need to stay there, but i needed to see my momma.  i was also pretty sick and my ears were popping.  AND there was a kenyan man sitting next to me that was def hogging the arm rest and i really wanted it!  i was pissed that i was pitying myself after seeing actual problems (you know, like missing a nose).  all these factors made me all snotty and teary the whole way back.  then the taxi was late picking me up and it took almost 3 hours to drive back to my house from the airport.  i was crabby.  thank goodness my roomie was there to salvage the night with an episode of the office, :).

so i have been in kampala, reorganizing life, hanging out with some friends (watching a lot of 'its always sunny in philadelphia' and 'greys' - also went to a spinning class last night...50 cent and faith hill on the track list, haha), eating good food, etc.  life is good there.  but you all know this.  

anyway, i came to mbale today to get some footage for the u.s.  this place is also great.  i get to see the proctor's, hang out with derek, and enjoy jack fruit (i will miss that so much when i get home).  i don't have many interesting things to post.  nothing funny that i can think of.  i'll try to get some pics on here or a story soon!  miss you all and love you!  (countdown: 88 days!)