birthday music.

so - my emotions go in phases here. it never ceases to amaze me how each day i literally go from one extreme of feeling perfectly content to tearing up wondering how i can make 9 months go as quickly as possible.

yesterday was noooo exception. it was my 22nd birthday and i woke up feeling fine that i was here, ready for the day. my boss picked me up and took me to work and then him and boba, a girl i work with, took me out to lunch which was sooo nice. after work i rushed to get ready because a bunch of people lindsey introduced to me were having a cookout.

i got there and didn't know many people and i just really missed home. it wasn't awful, i just had an intense longing to talk to someone from home. then we started eating which, naturally, made me perk up, :). then i was surrounded by 25 people who were soooo kind and making such an effort to make my birthday special and i felt so alone and had one of those moments where i thought i might cry, so i got up and then i heard it - lucky by jason mraz and colbie calliat. no more than 10 minutes later, this huge group of people (i didn't know more than 5 of them) were loudly singing happy birthday to me and my friend laura was carrying a cake towards me. and wouldn't you know, it was a cake that patsy horning makes every single june for our birthdays - a fruit pizza. i could not have asked for a better evening or better people to share it with...thanks lindsey for sharing your friends with me, :).

and this is not the first time this has happened. i have had about five moments when i thought i might cry and the instant i feel a tear well up, i will hear a song - it's the craziest thing! it happened at lindsey's goodbye dinner when everyone was talking about how fabulous she was and i was getting so scared that i wouldn't live up to the standards that she set - then beyonce's single ladies came on and i had to stifle a laugh as i picture our entire soccer team singing and dancing to it. another time the day before linds left we were sitting with a bunch of her friends at a bbq and everyone was talking about how sad they were that she was leaving and i almost walked out of the room when john legend's first cd started playing in the next room, which made me picture patsy sitting at his concert in philly with me. i walked in and joe had just turned on the CD and said, "i know you like him, i was looking for a different one, but this one will do." he had nooo idea how important that was. yet another time i was sitting in my living room and i had been alone for almost 2 full days and i was wallowing in some serious self-pity and just as the tears were coming - a car stopped literally RIGHT outside my compound and jamie foxx's voice singing blame it came blaring out of their stereo and right into my living room. i may have had a dance party by myself, :) while envisioning face rap this to me on the way to pizza hut.

so, the LORD has used jamie foxx to keep me grounded, ha. but seriously, i do not count those things as pure coincidence, especially because crying doesn't stop easily for me once it begins. it amazes me how the music from america is all it takes to remind me that i can do this and that i am not leaving behind everything/everyone. i'm simply taking a break from it, :).

i love you all and miss you. hope to hear from you soon! thanks SO much for all the birthday wishes yesterday, they made it so much easier to be here!